The Weasel and the Iris
by Mylie
Summary: Just when you thought you had seen some crazy couplings… enter the crack pairings explanation inside 1: Itachi x Ayame [As she concentrated on keeping her balance she heard a faint voice whisper in her ear… “I’m surprised, Ayame”]
1. A Simple Ramen Girl

A/N: Well you may be wondering that Itachi and Ayame are an odd pairing. But this is a crack fic with crack pairingsfor my friend and author Zanisha! (It was on a dare >.>) Anyway, these crack fics with the unlikely pairings aren't gonna be too long. I'm not thinking of dragging on the stories too much. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this ItachixAyame fic while it lasts!

* * *

Ayame stood over a pot of boiling water inside the Ichiraku Ramen stand in Konoha. Brushing a strand of black hair out of her eyes with one hand, she dunked a ball of noodles into the water and swished it around with a pair of chopsticks. 

As she waited for the noodles to cook, she leaned backwards on the counter staring out into the streets of Konoha and sighed.

It's not as if I regret this life. Sure cooking ramen everyday gets repetitive, but at least I don't have to risk my life out on the battlefield. But, is this what I truly want?

The "ramen girl" as she was widely known as turned off the element under the pot of water and slid the noodles into a bowl. Carefully, she ladled broth over the noodles and added the toppings before handing it to a hungry customer.

Looking out into the streets, she saw Konohamaru running with Moegi and Udon trailing after him. Watching the three Academy students streak past brought back memories of her childhood.

_**Flashback**_

"Taiki Hiroshi!"

An energetic looking boy in the back of the classroom stood up and raised his hand. "Here!"

"Uchiha Itachi!"

The young Uchiha prodigy raised his hand slowly and replied in a bored voice, "Here."

Ayame sat near the front and glanced back at the Uchiha in the back row. He was the youngest genius ever to grace the halls of the Academy at the age of 7. Many of the students looked at him with envy, others with fear. She didn't blame those who looked upon him with fear, for he was indeed intimidating.

The instructor interrupted her thoughts. "Now instead of our first lecture today, I tweaked the schedule so we could have some more outdoor training today. So it's off to the training yard!" The class simultaneously cheered and began to file out of the classroom.

Outside, the sun shone down on the group of kids as they waited to be paired with partner for the day's practice.

"Ok, next pair we'll have is Itachi and Ayame."

Ayame gulped nervously. _Why do I have to be paired with him of all people? It's not like I'm afraid of him or anything, but he makes me all jittery!_

The young kunoichi did have to admit that she did have a _little_ crush on Itachi. But then again, who wouldn't? He was after all incredibly strong and intelligent.

Some of the girls standing in line gave her envious glares. It appeared that she wasn't the only one to have a crush on the Uchiha.

Meanwhile, Itachi was having his own thoughts about being paired up with Ayame. _Well it's not as bad as it seems I suppose. At least I don't have to be paired with one of my fangirls._

The partners stepped out of line and walked over to their designated spot on the yard to being training.

As they faced each other and pulled out a kunai, Itachi smirked. "I hope you're ready to lose."

Ayame tried to look brave as she took her battle stance and replied, "Don't be too confident Uchiha-kun."

While the kunoichi knew that she was absolutely going to lose by charging towards him head on, she did have a few tricks up her sleeve. Reaching into the pouch around her leg, she drew out a smoke bomb and threw it on the ground. It exploded in a plume of dark blue smoke and spread out in a five-foot radius.

Itachi widened his eyes a little in surprise. _Well I didn't expect that. _He recovered quickly and looked around him for any sign of his opponent.

He heard a faint whistle of a shuriken being thrown behind him and dodged to the right. Unfortunately, he hadn't been quick enough and the sharp edged star nicked his cheek as it flew past drawing a few drops of blood.

Now knowing where Ayame was, he used the remaining smoke to his advantage and dashed behind her holding his Kunai to her neck.

The instructor's voice could be heard through the smoke as it disappeared. "Good job Uchiha. Now everyone, back inside."

The black haired kunoichi sighed in defeat as Itachi drew the kunai away from her neck and tucked in back into the pouch. Managing to force a small smile on her face, Ayame turned towards him. "Good fight Uchiha-kun."

Itachi ignored what she had just said and walked past her heading towards the doors leading into the Academy.

_What a jerk!_

Ayame ran ahead of him and caught up to her friends. But as she neared the doors, she paused to shake out some dirt from her sandals. As she concentrated on keeping her balance she heard a faint voice whisper in her ear.

"I'm surprised that you were able to injure me at all. Maybe you aren't as weak as I thought Ayame. I'll see you around later."

The kunoichi looked up in surprise and saw Itachi stick his hands in his pockets and stalk off. Losing her balance she toppled over and landed hard on her rear end. Wincing at the pain, she watched Itachi walk into the doors of the Academy still in shock at his words.

Did I just hear a rare compliment from Itachi? Or was he just being sarcastic? And wait, did he also call me by my first name?

Thoughts swirled in her head as she stood up placing her foot back into the sandal and scurried back into the Academy.

**_End Flashback_**

Now the ramen girl snapped back into reality as Naruto came bounding into the Ichiraku stand bellowing at the top of his lungs, "I'm hungry! I want some ramen!"

_Is that his whole vocabulary?_ Ayame smiled to herself as she began to prepare all the ingredients for Naruto's meal; knowing that if she wasn't careful, the young genin might eat everything in the restaurant.

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A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of "The Weasel and the Iris"! If you would like to request a short little fic with your own crack pairing (It can be any anime, hopefully on I've watched! ") send me an email! 

Also, thanks to Zanisha for helping me com up with a title and summary! Since I suck at them! >.>. Joo R0xors! hands her a platter piled high with chocolate chip cookies


	2. Childhood Memories, Part 1

**The Weasel and Iris  
**By: Mylie

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Chapter 2: Childhood Memories, Part 1

"Phew. Finally I can close up the restaurant and go home." Ayame stretched happily and surveyed her work to make sure the little ramen stand was boarded up properly for the night.

Satisfied with her work, she untied the white bandana holding her long black hair back from her face and stuffed it into the pocket of her jeans. _Now I wonder what I should buy for dinner tonight? _After a long day of work on her own, Ayame felt too exhausted to cook for herself. She looked at the tiny roadside restaurants still open and walked among them trying to decide what to buy.

Finally she stopped at a tiny stand where an energetic middle-aged man went back and forth filling the orders from his costumers. The ramen girl stood in line and when her turn came she smiled warmly knowing very well how the man must feel answering the calls of hungry customers all day.

"I would like two bento boxes with barbequed eel, rice, and steamed vegetables please."

The man nodded and relayed the order to a younger man behind him who appeared to handle all of the cooking. While he waited for the young man to finish cooking, the man studied Ayame's face closely for a few moments before he gave her a big smile.

"Ayame-chan! I didn't recognize you without your bandana! Do you remember me? I'm an old friend of your father's."

"Ah! Okita-san! Of course I remember you! You were always the one who made sure I got home safely from the Academy when I was younger."

The older man shook his head sadly. "It's a shame that you were never able to graduate. You would have become a great kunoichi Ayame, an asset to Konoha."

The dark haired girl lowered her eyes to the ground; her cheeks tinged a light shade of pink. Before she had the chance to reply, Okita handed her a bag with the two bento boxes safely tucked inside.

"Here you are Ayame-chan, and don't bother paying either. This one is on me." Okita said pushing away the yen Ayame tried to give him.

"No Okita-san. You watched after me all those years I was at the Academy. The least I can do to repay you is to pay for my dinner."

The older man sighed in defeat. "Well alright then. I'll let you pay this time, but the next time you come, I will not accept any payment. Oh and say hello to your father for me!"

Ayame grinned. "Hai, hai. Goodbye Okita-san!" She waved farewell and began to walk home.

--+--

The ramen girl opened the door to the small two bedroom apartment she shared with her father. While they weren't very wealthy, the apartment was very cozy and inviting. The front door opened into a wood paneled hallway with doors branching off to the bedrooms and the bathroom. At the end of the hallway she could see the tiny kitchen and the family room.

"I'm home!" She shouted taking off her sandals and strolled into the kitchen.

"Welcome home." Her father opened the sliding door to his bedroom and sneezed. "What's for dinner?"

Ayame unloaded the bento boxes and placed them on the small table in the kitchen. "I bought some barbequed eel from Okita-san. Oh and are you feeling any better?"

Her father sat down in one of the chairs and lifted the lid off the bento box in front of him. "Okita? I haven't seen him for months! Ahh I remember the days of our childhood when we roamed around the village causing all sorts of mischief." His eyes shone in remembrance.

His daughter on the other hand looked amused. "Well that's nice, but you still haven't answered my question."

"Ah right. Well my fever broke this afternoon so I should be able to go back to work with you tomorrow. Were you able to handle all the work by yourself today?"

"Well the day went smoothly enough. Although Naruto did come to visit and nearly ate all the supplies I had, so I'll have to restock tomorrow morning. Oh and don't worry about the paperwork, I'll do it after I eat."

--+--

After dinner, Ayame sat at the kitchen table with a small stack of papers and a brush. She slowly went through the papers on which the day's sales and purchases were recorded. On a separate sheet, she calculated how much of a profit the ramen stand had made.

Ayame finished the last calculation and then went into her bedroom. She yawned and flopped down onto the bed and stared at the few ninja tools she kept and still occasionally trained with. _I gave up the life I wished for. One of danger and adventure to one of...well let's just say I never really wanted to go into the family business. Then again, I didn't have much of a choice at the time…_

--+--

**Flashback**

"Well I am proud of you class. Most of you did very well on last week's examinations. Although some of you do need a little improvement." The majority of the class laughed as Shinpachi-sensei looked towards Taiki, who was well known for failing his exams.

Ayame's friend, Sayu, whispered to her "Did you see Uchiha-kun? He didn't even smile at Shinpachi-sensei teasing Taiki. It's like he has no emotions at all."

Ayame looked up towards where Itachi sat in stony silence. Sayu was right, it did seem like he had no emotions at all. The Uchiha never joked, laughed, or even smiled for that matter. She turned back towards Shinpachi-sensei and listened as he began to speak again.

"Well the results of your exams have been posted on the bulletin board outside the classroom. So I'll see you all next week. Have a nice weekend!"

The school bell rang and all the students in the class made a dash towards the door to be first to see how they did on their exams. Ayame slowly packed her bag, secretly dreading to see what her mark was.

_Well I'm sure I did well. I studied hard for here days in a row before the exam. I know I messed up on that one section about the history of Konoha's most famous shinobi but it shouldn't count too much on the test…I hope. Oh what am I saying! I know I probably got one of the lowest marks on the list! Hopefully I won't be last though!_

Ayame looked up to see Itachi strolling leisurely past her with his bag slung over one shoulder. _Well the Uchiha seems to be in no hurry to see his marks. He looks so confident…I wish I were like that…_

Sighing the young dejected kunoichi somehow managed to will her body to look at the notice on the billboard. Fearing the worst, she started from the bottom of the list and gave a silent cheer to see that she wasn't the one who got the lowest mark in the class. Slowly she began to scan the names up the list. Ayame gave another silent cheer when she realized that she had passed the people who only received fifty percent. Then finally, Ayame found her name and she ranked at twelfth with a mark of eighty-six percent!

An actual smile now found it's way to her lips. "Yes! I didn't fail!" She exclaimed happily and moved out of the crowd around the bulletin board.

She came to face to face with Itachi who was standing to the side of the crowd. The kunoichi was able to stop herself from barreling into him but as a result had only stopped a few inches away from his face.

"I-uh…" she stuttered unintelligibly turning a very slight shade of pink.

Itachi looked into her eyes, but his facial muscles didn't move at all. He just stared at her in his usual stony silence. After a few moments he stepped back and nodded to her as if congratulating her on her mark. Then he re shouldered his backpack and exited the Academy, his steps echoing through the hallway.

Ayame stood rooted on the spot. Nobody seemed to notice what had just happened. She shook her head attempting to clear her muddled thoughts. _Did he just compliment me again? He has certainly been acting strange since the last time I trained with Uchiha-kun. I just don't understand him…_

She sighed and turned to look at the clock above the bulletin board. "Oh no! I'm going to be late getting home!" Ayame cried and ran out of the Academy waving to Okita-san who watched her with an amused look on his face.

--+--

"I'm home!"

"Ah, Ayame come into the kitchen. I have something important to talk to you about."

I wonder what father needs to talk to me about. I hope it's not about grandfather, he has been in poor health lately…

Ayame quickly ran into the kitchen to hear what her father had to say. "What is it?"

"Well, since you're the only family I have left since your mother passed away a few years ago. I'll just tell you the truth. The Ichiraku has fallen into some debts lately, and I haven't been able to find a way to pay off the debt."

She watched her father sigh and shift through the pile of papers on the table. The Ichiraku ramen stand had been in the family for 3 generations. It was always passed down to the son or daughter who was deemed most worthy to take over. Ayame knew that someday it would be hers and she'd have to quit being a kunoichi.

"Well, if you can't find a way to pay off the debt then what are we going to do? We can't close down the Ichiraku!"

Her father sighed again. "Well there is one solution, but you wouldn't like it and I will not force you into doing it."

"What is it?"

He closed his eyes and replied slowly. "Ayame, you'd have to drop out of the Academy and come work with me every day. It will definitely not be the easiest life for you, but this way I will have an extra person to help me so I can serve more customers."

The young girl closed her eyes tightly and clenched her fists as her father rambled on.

"I know that becoming and kunoichi is your dream and this isn't what you ever wanted but—"

"I'll do it."

"What?"

She sucked in her breath and continued on. "I'll do it. If helping you out at the Ichiraku will get it out of debt then I will do all I can."

Her father nodded silently.

"Besides," Ayame said forcing a smile on her lips, "I can always keep my kunai's and practice after work!"

She felt herself enveloped by a hug from her father. "Thank you Ayame." He said his voice muffled by her hair.

--+--

"Sousuke Sayu!"

"Here!"

Ayame slowly entered the classroom. She wanted to savour every moment of her last day at the Academy.

"Ahh Ayame you're late. You realize that I'll have to make you run a lap around the Academy right?"

The kunoichi sighed and mumbled under her breath, "I'm quitting the Academy."

Shinpachi studied her, his mouth closed in a tight line. "Now why is that?"

She handed him a note her father had written explaining everything to Shinpachi. He unfolded the note and began to read.

Meanwhile, the class watched them both curiously. Some of them whispered to each other wondering what was happening.

_I see._ Turning to Ayame Shinpachi returned the note to her. "Your presence in this class will be sorely missed. I hope that someday you'll be able to return and graduate."

Sayu stood up overhearing what Shinpachi-sensei had just said to Ayame. "What you're leaving? But you can't leave!"

There were outbursts of agreement from many of the other students as well. Shinpachi held up his hands for silence. "Although may of you will miss her she does have to leave for personal issues."

Ayame lowered her head and blinked rapidly trying to clear away the tears that began to well up in her eyes. While her head was tilted down, she did not notice one set of eyes gazing at her steadily.

Suddenly, the kunoichi turned to her teacher. "Shinpachi-sensei, do you think it would be alright if I could stay till the end of the day?"

He smiled warmly down at her. "Of course."

--+--

The day passed too quickly for Ayame and by the end, she was surrounded by a group of friends wishing her goodbye.

"Oh Ayame! I won't be able to see you anymore!" A teary Sayu cried hugging her tightly.

"Oh don't be silly. I'm not moving out of Konoha, I just have to work at the Ichiraku until the debs are paid off. Don't worry I'll still come to visit!"

"Do you promise?"

"I promise."

Sayu hugged her again and turned to leave with the rest of the group. "Make you keep that promise!"

Ayame grinned. "I will! You can count on that!"

She waved as her friends left and headed home, but stayed behind wanting to spend some time alone. She wandered towards the tree in front of the Academy with the tire swing. Ayame sat in the tire swinging slowly back and forth closing her eyes.

"Hey, so are you leaving for good?" A quiet voice inquired.

Ayame skidded you a stop and opened her eyes to see Itachi leaning against the trees, his arms cross over his chest.

"Yeah I am." She replied equally quiet. "I have to help my father at the ramen stand so we won't be in debt anymore."

"I see. Well goodbye Ayame...I'll see you around sometime." He strode away holding one hand up as a farewell gesture.

She just watched him walk away, a hundred thoughts fluttering through her mind.

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AN: Okay I decided to end the chapter there since there will be a second part to this flashback. I hope that will be the end of the flashbacks since I don't want to take up too much of the storyline with them. (Although they are important!) Anyway I do hope that you guys are enjoying the story so far and thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I really appreciate it! 


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